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Just Shoot Me

Bala, 28, Gordon Gekko in the making, pseudo-intellectual, cynic, bibliophile, obsessive compulsive ranter...

Ron Howard and Vikraman

January 19, 2007

I have a dream - i want to produce a bilingual movie in english and tamil with Ron Howard and Vikraman as the respective directors. Actually the dream is to commit genocide but such a movie would suffice. The only problem is how to sucker people into watching it. Imagine such a masterpiece - Russell Crowe would have Ramesh Khanna for his sidekick, with vidyasagar thrown in for the benefit, half of humanity would be wiped out just looking at the posters and the remaining half would be done in by the time opening credits are shown.. mhuhaaaa mhuhaaaaa.....

Mentioned this idea to couple of fellow Vikraman/Ron Howard haters and our collective imagination went wild. The movie basically calls for Russell Crowe and Ramesh Khanna to be trainee-boxers who live in a mansion (a mansion in tamil nadu is a place where dirty bachelors shack up 10 to a room and not the one with bungalow and gardens etc etc). The house owner's daughters are Renee Zelweger and Devyani. Now Crowe loves Devyani, but Devyani already has a boyfriend/husband (not shown in screen). Zelweger loves crowe, there by completing the requisite third leg of the love triangle. In typical Vikraman sense, Zelweger helps crowe win devyani's heart,
but after just one lala song by vidyasagar, Gary Sinise, Devyani's husband/boyfriend (we cant decide which one is better) arrives to spoil the party. Now the love triangle has grown a fourth leg and threatens to become a k balachandar rectangle.

Now news reaches crowe that his parents/elder brother (still undecided, but methinks gaeb10 vijaykanth can reprise his vanathai pola role) back in the village, need money to payoff Ed Harris, the local bigwig. Our guy has a big fight scheduled next day, but decides to sacrifice his career for his family. To get the money, he goes to the hospital to sell his kidney. There he finds, ramesh kanna, zelweger and devyani all standing in line before him to sell their kidneys to get his money. (vidyasagar theme music in the background). Fortunately Ed Harris (who everyone thought was the villain, but turns out to be a big softie) arrives in time before anyone's kidney is taken out and writes off his loan. Everyone hand in hand goto Crowe's boxing match singing the lala song.

Obviously, the script needs a reworking, i need to watch a beautiful mind once again so that we can make this more appealing to the oscar voters. We are pretty sure we have locked up 8 or 9 oscars with this screen play, but we need to make sure
posted by Bala, 10:15 PM


"a mansion in tamil nadu is a place where dirty bachelors shack up 10 to a room"

-- And a source of countless homoerotic fantasies ;)
commented by Anonymous Man, 3:26 AM  
just checking: is it vidyasagar or s.a.rajkumar?
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 1:58 PM  

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