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Just Shoot Me

Bala, 28, Gordon Gekko in the making, pseudo-intellectual, cynic, bibliophile, obsessive compulsive ranter...

sept 25 - 27

September 29, 2003

influence : nightmares and dreamscapes
Mood : upbeat
Ringtone : amma endrazhaikkada...

yesterday i dreamt that man was a vampire.

weird? no i aint getting senile :-). the man in question is not homo sapiens per se, but my bro sundar also called as sundhuma by amma, sundhupa by appa, countless unprintable epithets by myself and man by his
class mates (and it stuck..)

coming to my dream... this was on saturday morning after 4 o clock (must be since i slept at 4), when i am lying in this state of sleep not yet sleep... what happens usually when you sleep late and drift off into half sleep states. well in this dream, man was dressed as a 18th century aristrocat... frilly shirt, curled
blond wig and even looked like Tom Cruise in the interview with the vampire. And like
tom cruise in the interview... he is making me a proposition that i become one (vampire not proposition) too. May be because of i couldnt stand tom cruise spouting a moustache and looking like man, i refused to become one.(all in the
dream)... as usual he chases me around and when i was desperately trying to climb over what seemed to be the compound wall of the vampire's mansion (ever noticed , they all live in spooky places where the only thing missing is a board saying "beware of vampires")... the mobile phone alarm started chirping and i gleefully escaped becoming a bloodsucker.

well thats the latest in my seemingly never ending stream of nightmares...
(i even had one where something was chasing me in my high school toilet)... think i have to keep a dream (nightmare) log. they seem more original than what comes out when i try to write.

this weekend was good, lugged the laundry all the way to tambaram. phew.. it takes a whole two hours to get to chithi's place, this city is sure damn big. amma was there to take care of it (ammma endrazhaikkada uyirrillayae...)... but as usual couldnt stand chithi's house and ran away in evening with half dried sack of clothes. one surprise in this visit is finding indujaa all grown up... she has
lost all the puppy fat, is almost as tall as me ( a 10 yr old standing 5 5` is something) reads harry potter with a fixation like her mother's. (but still hasnt the reading bug, and still full of the metro showbug). Me being me, declared hence forth she would be accorded all respects of a proper tween and taught her how to do the middle finger gesture. would have started her on "ketta varthais" if not for mom chasing me out.

sunday went well.. wrote a ok simcat.. discovered in the previous one have flunked two sections but moved up some two hundred places in the rank list. mixed tidings... slept and tried to read mario puzo - the first few hundred pages of the godfather was enough to induce nausea, but nothing else was available so switched to the last don. These books are so full of shit that the paper couldnt be used even as toilet paper. and people continue to read puzo. heck i too have read some four or five puzos so far

1 don + 2 or 3 chota dons + 3 sons of dons + 2 or 3 slutty hollywood starlets+ lotsa kinky sex + 1 gangland war + some murders = one mario puzo book + nausea.


But people tend to like these sort of books. where as h2g2, which line for line, word for word is 24 carat genius remains a niche book. this reminds me of what S.. has written about TCS library. finding out that it is stocked with
nancy drews and secret sevens, she describes it as a place for maitree type people - "dumb women and their kids". hmm guess, i can agree with that.


told mom to find a copy of "nandhi kalambagam". curious about how it works out.


padithathil padhindhathu:

"vizhi oramai oru neerthuLi
vazhindhoduthey en kadhali
adhan aazhangaL nee aRindhal podum..

azhiyamalee un nyabagam..
alaipayudhai enna karanam..?"


to Jay: these are lines from "devathaiyai kandaen" in "kadhal kondaen..". lyrics written by naa. muthukumar and pazhani bharathi
posted by Bala, 6:52 PM | link | 1 comments |

sep 17 - 25 I

September 25, 2003

influence : time or rather the lack of it
mood : harried and hurried
ring tone : "Devathaiyai kandaen..."

mmm lots a happened in the week.. but little time

shifted house, the stair case problem got solved by the auto driver, fought with the previous owner, wrote a terrible cat, problems in the project (what else?), more problems in the project, laughing at team mates, earning their wrath, running away at 7. reading congo and jurassic park for the umpteenth time, having thoughts of resignation.....

life certainly should be like a steve king book... (know j would be smiling at this but then "father forgive J for she doesnt know what she is missing")

"theekullae viral vaithaen
thani theevil kadai vaithaen
manal veedu katti vaithaen"

man how beautiful these lines are.... when am i going to write something as beautiful as these?

will write more

waiting of the weekend... poongi and the laundry beckon..
posted by Bala, 6:51 PM | link | 0 comments |

17 sep - mixed fortunes

September 17, 2003

Influence : narrow staircases
Mood : thinking.... thinking.... thinking....
RingTone : bug ena paduvadhu yadenil.....


nothing special has happened, except tasting my own bugs..... and these a-holes are of the opinion, bugs get solved by themselves and there are 48 hours in a day.

had a inspiring chat with kupi... he is as kupier as ever..

j has left a note.. says i am "alarmingly frank". man she should hear the foul language i am spouting these days. one four letter work per sentence (english or tamil or both). Even mom says i have started speaking filthy language. This brings to issue of filth in language. How can language be filthy? only those who use it or their minds are filthy - yes, yours truly has a great perverted scum filled mind - boss, one who has imagination has everything and that naturally incluedes huh.. filth?
she also asks what happened to my mails... hee hee... thinking of those long mails i can just hum - "adu oru azhagiya nila kalam".

atlast had a glimpse of our new flat's insides.. man thats a great house.homely and cuddly.. painted a mild shade of yes purple!!!!!!.. but the thing is stair case is so narrow that some time in the future, my alarmingly expanding paunch is going to get caught in it.. more immediate concern how to carry a 20 inch TV through a stair case that is one cubit and one "jan" in length??... think ... its better than fixing my bugs..

vish writes in to say he is frustated... hmmm if the "avatara corporata" himself can be frustated, i guess i can cuss around :-)

last night finished reading the u boat book atlast.. "vai irunda azhudurukkum". over load of statistics... style english upper lip... but info is enormous... if there is a soft copy thats better.

pirandhal u-boat captain a pirakkanum... hunting someone from when no one knows you are...

hmm over all life is getting complicated...

why cant life be like reading a steve king book?
posted by Bala, 6:50 PM | link | 2 comments |

if u meet buddha on the road.... kill him

September 11, 2003

Influence : Human Stupidity
Mood : SSDD
RingTone : psssssssssttttt

Had a run in with the proj manager... dunno what these guys think of themselves!.... project pressure is building up to unbelievable levels... one of these days i am going to run amok and kill some one.

Still not recovered completely from the after effects of delirium... got a "urupadi" idea though today... (raise hand, pat back.. georgeen style)...

the class egroup mail id is seeing some activity. jaga has updated the list.

Amused but not surprised to see Gabbar has become a business development manager. TATA telecom ku azhivu kalam arambichiruchnnradhukku iduvae sagunam.

still looking for buddha... dont tell him that i am looking for him
posted by Bala, 6:46 PM | link | 0 comments |

out of delirium

September 10, 2003

Influence : Paraceptomol
Mood : ebbing delirium
RingTone: zzzzzzzzzzzzz.......


got sick :-(.... This job sucks so much that, i am getting frightening reruns of my once periodic dosages of delirium. This time it is really sickening.. No amount of paraceptomol would make this go away and and weird nosebleeds have started again. There is definitely something about seeing blood trickling out of your nose into the floor. ... Monday night was the worst.. apparently ( i have no recollections) there was a power cut for the better part of the night.. the other guys have slept at 5 in the morning. I have slept through an entire night of blood and sweat (musquitoes baba musquitoes) without even remembering a thing. Well thats the good thing about delirium.

Tried to read a ken follet (latest i think).. such a piece of absymal writing that, wonder how it gets published and goes to best seller lists. Genral reading publik is dumber than i had previously thought (well kinda becoming sanctimonious aint i!)

had a quick visit to the new flat.. it is definitely in a crazy area.... the first thought i had was, how did they build the houses without getting stuck between them. This is definitely the place to meet the "girl next door" :-).. unfortunately a 60 something came out and stared us away (60 something POV: 10 in the night, all quiet all around, three dirty faces peering from the semi gloom of an unlit white maruti...well justifies the look she gave us)

the worst part is hafta work tomorrow.... today even got a mail saying there is a prize for creative workspace... d***f**** .. they dont even give tacks for sticking the project header in your cube and then give prizes for creative workspaces (ellam kali kalam da sami)
posted by Bala, 6:44 PM | link